Pudding Face is horrible and needs to die

Some months back, I started noticing new ads for Jell-O Pudding. In them, a picture of one of more people are displayed with gruesome, inhuman smiles is accompanied with some sort of text about a phenomenon known as “pudding face”. This “pudding face” is a natural consequence of eating the Jello-O brand of pudding, and is implied to be a good thing.

Look at this and tell me this is anything but horrifying.

I don’t know about you, but if I knew that eating something would do that to my face, I would not eat it. I would rather starve than suffer the kind of agony. At first glance, you may think he is some kind of happy monster, but the look in his eyes says “please kill me”.

Jell-O, what the hell are you thinking? Who is going to be lured into buying your cheap slop through this campaign? Frankly, I’m surprised I haven’t heard about your looming bankruptcy on the news. I can only assume the reason you didn’t decide to just burn your money was because it was slightly less cost effective. This is not cute and whimsical. This is not a silly and outrageous thing. This is hideous and disturbing, and I want no part of it. I almost never buy Jell-O products, because it simply never comes up. I don’t make gelatin or pudding or buy it pre-packaged. And thanks to the hideous visages now burned into my memory, I never will. I will go through the trouble of finding brands other than Jell-O the next time I need to make some gelatin.

As a somewhat creative person, I like to reward good uses of creativity when I see it, often through money or some other thing. Likewise, when something horrible and stupid like pudding face comes up, I make a point of avoiding it like the plague. Terrible ads should be screamed at and stabbed like pigeons, who could be termed the pudding face of the Order Aves, except that I’m sure even pigeons serve as food for some less terrible animal. Maybe rats eat them? I certainly hope they do. I wouldn’t give rats any Jell-O pudding though; that would be cruel.

No no, DC Comics isn’t endorsing Jell-O, but maybe Jell-O is endorsing DC Comics, or at least characters owned by DC Comics. That is a victim of Joker Venom, a lethal poison The Joker uses to kill people and leave horrifying smiles on their faces. This was literally the first thing that came to mind when I first saw those ads, and the association has stuck. Jell-O pudding will kill you dead, and the corpse you leave behind will make the creepy guy who works in the morgue cry.

Luckily I don’t even like pudding all that much, or this would have been a lot more distressing for me. I mean it’s fine once in a while, but most of my experience with it was just to make pies. And now when I do want to make pie I have to shop for the obscure brands tainted with something other than bad advertising. Like arsenic.


7 Responses to Pudding Face is horrible and needs to die

  1. RS says:

    Awesome. More product/advertising reviews, please!

  2. Myles says:

    Wait, what? I saw this post before on a google result or something but didn’t click it. KCG is famous.

  3. AJBulldis says:

    Interesting. The stats thing told me that a few people ended up looking at my Conan the Barbarian review because of a Google search as well.

  4. Jordan Harrelson says:

    I am a volunteer firefighter and Pudding Face is my nickname at the firedepartment because i like to smile alot…

  5. Pingback: AJBulldis’s Top Ten Posts Of 2011 « Bulldis in a China Shop

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