Totally cheating at blogging

I have absolutely no ideas as to what to write about today. So instead I will be using an idea generator to give me ideas, and I will confront these ideas until I have enough words to go to bed without crying about my failure at blogging.

“Describe what you’d do with an extra four hours today”

For starters, I’d try to come up with an actual topic. Also I’d go to after about the third hour, because I get the feeling I am going to be very tired tomorrow.

“Apologize to your mom”

No.

“Dispell a myth”

I’m not shy, I’m just a jerk.

“List your top ten favorite books”

1. Frankenstein.

Er…this is hard. Pass.

“Write about your neighborhood”

It’s a bunch of apartment buildings filled with a bunch of shifty looking people. I don’t talk to anyone here, though I might briefly nod at some of them. I hate this place and look forward to moving. Except for my laundromat, but that’s not really in my neighborhood.

“Write about something you’re ashamed of”

I am ashamed of this blog post.

“Write a post about a conspiracy (e.g. the Girl Scouts Cookie Cabal).”

It is a known fact that sometimes fatalities occur along subway lines. What they don’t tell you is just how often it happens. In fact, over fifty percent of the stops on a subway ride are due to someone having been struck and their mangled body having to be pried away. The media outlets all talk about how the MTA employees are part of a union, but this is a lie. Some are, certainly, including some of the actual track workers, but only the ones you see. For every visible employee, there are a dozen slaves who never see the light of day. Tirelessly they labor in the darkness, repairing rails and ties, herding rats and more fearsome creatures away, and dragging the bodies of their comrades away. It is common for these tunnel people to eat their own, for food is scarce in the subways and only rarely can they scrounge up enough money to buy from the news stands.

“Write a response to a post on another blog.”

No.

“Just write about your daily travel from your home to workplace.”

Hell no. And I’m pretty sure I already have.

“How to save the world.”

Destroy all modern conveniences, and try not to think about the billions of people who will starve to death due to the loss of modern food production technologies.

“Write about a common misconception people have.”

A lot of people think other people are stupid, when in fact they are the ones who are stupid. Everyone is stupid.

“Write about your first blog post.”

Really? Are you kidding me? This is an idea that was generated?

“Write about your run-in with a celebrity.”

I saw Carrie Underwood at the Rockefeller Center once. Not really that big a deal.

“Your first dollar earned.”

Pretty sure it was for feeding my grandfather’s dogs for a few days. Or maybe my mom gave me some money for doing something, I don’t know. It wasn’t a significant event for me, if that’s what they are wondering about.

“Share your thoughts on a controversial topic (war, religion, politics, abortion).”

War is bad, religion is bad, politics is complicated, and abortion is bad.

“Write about a new trend that you love or hate.”

I hate how geeky stuff is attempting to become mainstream because I feel like the mainstream geek is entirely superficial and consists of wearing t-shirts and has no real connection to the ridiculous hobbies that come with it.

“Solve a problem.”

No.

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One Response to Totally cheating at blogging

  1. AJBulldis says:

    I may have to do this every day forever.

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