7 Fun Ways To Celebrate Earth Day

By Presidential decree, Earth Day is upon us! Here are some great ways to make the most of it.

 

#1 Breath Organic Oxygen

Start your day right by getting a sweet, sweet oxygen high. But don’t settle for ordinary canned oxygen: splurge on the good stuff!

#2 Kill An Invasive Species

Cane toads, Florida pythons, those ugly little bugs that dig through trees, the world is your orgy of violence this day! Native species will thank you.

#3 Call Mother Earth

It’s not that we don’t want to call her, but it’s hard to find the right time when you’re both available. Today is her special day, and you know it won’t be complete unless she hears from you!

#4 Watch That One Scene From The Lion King

“When we die, our bodies become the grass, and the antelope eat the grass” so good!

#5 Plant A Tree On The White House Lawn

They may be busy doing other things, but rest assured President Obama and the hard-working men and women of the Secret Service are giving you a thumbs up!

#6 Kill More Invasive Species

C’mon, go for it!

#7 Leave Little Encouraging Notes On Shrubs

Everyone thinks of trees on Earth Day, but the little guys need some love too! A small paper note that says something like “great job” or “thinking of you” really goes a long way. The more the better!

In Response To “40 Questions For Christians Who Oppose Marriage Equality”

Challenge accepted.1. Not in all cases. I definitely believe telling people they have no control over it will smother any say they have.

2. I accept that people are stubborn, but also yes it doesn’t happen easily, or in most cases at all it looks like.

3. One or two, maybe?

4. I’m not anyone’s closest friend.

5. Zero hours.

6. Yes.

7. Yes.

8. None.

9. Obsession over sex or lack thereof is not healthy. I’d share my own struggle with desiring sexual intimacy (I’m single myself).

10. I don’t know any openly gay Chrisitans.

11. None.

12. Patience and self-control are obviously right out (tasteless joke). From personal experience you cannot develop fruits of the spirit while living in defiance of God.

13. Yes; they would be wrong to do  so, but our salvation is not contingent on every belief being 100% orthodox. I’ve had many misconceptions over the years corrected.

14. See answer 13.

15. N/A

16. It is a less immediate problem, but all societal sin is degrading.

17. Yes.

18. Slavery had different connotations back then. Also Christians throughout history have been wrong about a lot of things. Tradition isn’t scripture.

19. Yes.

20. Nope.

21. A little.

22. No.

23. One might say that.

24. No. Gay people are free to marry the opposite sex.

25. N/A

26. No.

27. Yes.

28. Yes.

29. Ooh, maybe? I don’t wear my hair long so it’s never come up. Are the se words used in the original language?

30. Yes, noting that by God’s power Abraham and Sarah had a child in their old age.

31. We live in a fallen world where we aren’t as we should be. Infertility isn’t a natural state.

32. Never heard of them.

33. I suppose I could tolerate civil unions.

34. Too late now, gay marriage is already legal.

35. Never heard of them. I assume they died from bigoted attacks?

36. That sounds about right.

37. Sin is sin, so not really, though pedophilia is more vicious for targeting children.

38. Not at all certain. God has mysterious ways.

39. Well we’d stop being blessed by God because of our heinous lies.

40. So far I am. There are a number of more liberal thinkers in my church. Not sure where the line is drawn.

Best Ways To Spend The Leap Second

Right before 8:00 pm EST tonight, we will witness a time like no other: 7:59:60. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, we are getting another second tonight. One. Whole. Second. Overwhelming, I know. Lucky for you, I have assembled this handy guide to get the most of your gratuitous time increase so that you don’t waste the second of it.

Get Your Tan On

tanning

Nothing says “time well spent” like soaking up those healthy ultraviolet rays. They are crucial for the natural production of Vitamin D, without which our bones will crumble and fall. Make your bones a priority and bathe in the glorious light of the setting Sun.

Shots

shots

Woo! Party!

Go To Bed A Little Early

bed time

“Early to bed, early to rise,” as the wise say. Do you know what is even earlier than going to bed at 8? Going to bed at 7:59:60. You’ll be ahead of the game and tomorrow will be yours to conquer! The early bird will have nothing on you!

Ponder The Mysteries Of The Cosmos

cosmos

You’d be surprised how profound your thoughts can be when you ponder in a rare and mysterious time. Give it a shot!

Pop The Question

proposal

Fellas, you know you want to, but finding the right time to drop to one knee and whip out the ring that made you borrow money from your parents again can be most arduous. How fortunate for you, then, that tonight provides the perfect moment, the likes of which we won’t see again for quite some time! Be sure to practice so that you can kneel, present the ring, and propose in one fell swoop. Nothing is more embarrassing than being the guy who took 1.1 seconds to make his intentions known.

Call Your Grandparents

Surprised and amazed

Surprised and amazed

It won’t be a long conversation, but they are always happy to hear from you.

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,700 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 28 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

AJBulldis’s Top Ten Posts Of 2011

I am 100% certain this is a great idea, because everyone else in the entire Internet is doing the exact same thing. Or has already done so. A while ago. I would have myself, but it seems to be tempting fate. You make a list on like December 20, put the top ten things on it, and then suddenly on December 30 some item gets usurped by another item entirely. That’s the kind of embarrassment I can do without.

So without further ado, here are the top ten posts of my blog for this year.

#10. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/12/13/wherein-i-muse-about-masochism-through-the-medium-of-rapid-and-sustained-leg-movement/

One of my more recent posts, this one dealt primarily with the lessons I learned from learning how to run, what I’m capable of, and how far I have to go. Through the rest of the winter, it will be very tempting to put it off entirely, but hopefully I will come back to this post and guilt myself into sticking with it as best I can until some kind of group run thing happens again.

#9. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/about/

Okay, what is even up with this? Not that I mind people attempting to learn more about me, but I would have hoped something cooler like Grocery Shopping Adventures would have been up here. Oh well, such is life.

#8. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/am-i-troy-davis/

I wrote this post fairly soon after Troy Davis’ execution. I believe it was an important experience for me to watch this story as it developed. Not necessarily because I think he was innocent. Truthfully, that had little to do with it, but the mere exposure to it all helped me crystallize my own thoughts on capital punishment, and as the months went on, our entire retribution-based justice system. We as a country have a long way to go.

#7. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/08/30/movie-review-conan-the-barbarian/

This was my first movie review on this blog, and it’s kind of sad that it remains the most popular, because it wasn’t even a very good movie. Drive was much better. I think my review of Drive was a better review too. Oh public, why you so fickle?

#6. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/10/19/a-response-to-why-does-america-have-so-many-peter-pan-men/

This is a post I like a lot as a concept, rather than as a specific example of something I’m proud to have written. I think I should attempt more counter-blogging in 2012.

#5. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/08/31/the-savage-pitch-of-conan/

What the hell is wrong with you people? My crappy Conan/Baseball crossover fan fiction got more views than the actual review of the movie. It got more views than my About page. Sigh…

#4. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/08/29/time-to-blog/

My very first post on this blog, so it actually makes sense that a bunch of views would happen. I’ve fallen spectacularly short on the promises I made that day, but I still think they were good promises. No real intention of living them out in 2012, but I’ll keep up the blogging nevertheless.

#3. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/

Yes, the home page is #3. I don’t even know what to think of that.

#2. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/pudding-face-is-horrible-and-needs-to-die/

A wonderful example of how blogging about something that gets a lot of searches will get you a lot of views. This page has more views than #4 and everything below that combined. I stand by the sentiment espoused in this post 100%; it was just a terrible terrible idea. As of this posting, that page is the first result if one Googles pudding face horrible, and among the first 10 results if you just Googles pudding face.

#1. https://ajbulldis.wordpress.com/2011/10/11/svedka-i-dont-want-your-vodk-or-your-robot-women/

And this is an even better example. Like it’s pudding face brother, this page is also one of the first results should one Google svedka robot. I know it means nothing other than a good choice of searchable words on my part, but I’m still kind of proud of it.

So that is that I guess.

I kind of like rats

Apparently its been several days since my last post. And considering the pathetic nature of my previous post, I’d like to ignore that one as well.

Unfortunately I’m a bit sleep deprived, so you’re not going to get any poignant opinion pieces on the political climate, nor any movie reviews (because I haven’t seen any since the last review). No, today I’m going to ramble about rats.

Like most people, I was initially skeptical about the numberless rodents (fun fact, I was going to use the word ‘numinous’ initially, but then I looked it up and as it turns out it means the presence of the divine, not ‘a whole bunch of’), and figured they were only good for eating bird eggs and being eaten by birds and whatever. Plus there was that whole ‘disease-carrying flea balls’ thing they have going for them.

My first exposure to rats in person was what I recall to be my 7th grade science class, but could very well have been some other grade entirely. Regardless, the teacher had a pair of albino brown rats as pets in the class room. Sometimes we would get to play with them. Far from the filthy foamy monsters of whatever it was I was watching as a kid, these rats were basically extra long hamsters with tails.

So anyways, fast forward several years and I suddenly live in New York City. And there are rats here. And not just lab rats either, but the wild kind who live in subways and cross the street sometimes and may end up in your apartment building if you are particularly unfortunate. They never really bothered me though. I’d see one or two scurrying about the tracks before the train showed up, and I’d just watch them, trying to see if they had any missing limbs or other particularly egregious defects. Or there was one occasion where a small sitting area in Central Park was covered in bird seed, which provoked a bunch of park rats to come out and eat, sometimes up to four at a time walking around pretty darn close to me. I took some pictures with my phone, and that was about it. I didn’t squirm even when one was inches away from my foot.

I don’t really know why, either. Cockroaches annoy me and have inspired multiple purchases of bug spray and fog bombs, and pigeons basically seem to just be asking to die by virtue of being too close, but rats just don’t bother me. I think they are kind of cute, actually, and I would consider getting a couple as pets (though I find myself doubting that my new roommate would be happy about it, though I guess I could just ask). And according to some things I’ve read, rats aren’t even all that disease-prone compared to other animals (apparently they don’t even carry rabies). While one can make the case for the necessity of their extermination in places like farms where they go eat crops, I think their only real crime in an urban area like New York City is being too good at surviving, and being more bold than people would like them to be. If people didn’t see rats, they would never think of them.

So lets focus our hatred on pigeons instead. Because screw pigeons.

Movie Review: The Lion King 3D

(You’ve all seen this movie before, so I’m not really going to bother avoiding any spoilers)

The Lion King was perhaps the greatest animated movie that Disney ever made. The controversy surrounding it was a bit interesting at the time, but considering Disney has never been much about brand new ideas so much as taking stuff and making it great, I think at this point it is safe to say that no one really cares whether it was a rip-off or not.

As a kid, I thought The Lion King was pretty great. I liked Scar the best, because he was the dark and sinister villain, and he had (in my not so humble opinion) the best song. The hyenas were a close second, especially since they basically ate Scar at the end of the movie. That is some hardcore stuff.

Anyways, last night I went with some friends to see the 3D theater re-release, which in retrospect must be some kind of gigantic ad campaign for the upcoming super deluxe blue ray edition thing, which was a pretty smart move on their part. The Lion King has an essence to it that would let the property make money no matter what they do to it. Luckily, Disney didn’t take shortcuts and decide to make an easy few million on this re-release.

I think that, if anything, I appreciate this movie a great deal more as an adult than I did as a child. With my more mature attention span and intentional focus on catching what I may have missed, I got a lot more out of it this time around. It was simply a fantastic movie, and that’s about as close to objective truth as you can get with an opinion. It deserved all the praise heaped up on it in the 90s, and continues to deserve it today.

One thing I was slightly concerned about was how they would handle the 3D-ifying of a 2D movie from the 90s. I have seen excellent movies that did a great job with 3D (like Up), and I have seen some decent movies that did an excellent job with 3D (like James Cameron’s Avatar), and I have seen some pretty bad movies do a terrible job with 3D (like the recent Conan the Barbarian). Thereforem I think I know what I’m talking about when I say that they did a really great job making this movie into a 3D movie. In fact, I’m pretty sure they did as good a job as can be done for such a thing without just remaking the movie from scratch. At no point did I find it gratuitous or notice any flaws in the perspective. And all of this while wearing the 3D glasses on top of my normal glasses.

Another part I feel like I really need to bring up is the sound. As a kid, I certainly remembered the songs, and even memorized the lyrics of a few, but it was only watching this movie in the theater as an adult that I could really pick out all of the background music that was constantly going on, and it was a perfect fit every time. Hans Zimmer, I love you and would like to buy you a candy bar.

If you liked The Lion King as a kid, go see it. If you never saw it before, go see it. If you didn’t care too much for it but have kids, take them to see it. With the possible exception of the last group, I will guarantee that you won’t be disappointed.